24 October 2009

Save the Children


I'm tired of seeing everyone's stupid pics and video's on the web. I've been getting more interested in photography lately and I hate how every chick now has their sexy Miley Cyrus pose, every fucking one. "Oh, you're not Miley Cyrus, you're Megan Fox, ahhhh, now I see it. I couldn't tell because you had your tongue out and head cocked to the left instead of the right. My bad."

Get's depressing when little girls don't really understand a normal camera pose, and no matter what you tell them, they pose for a camera with their head tilted and tongue sticking out. Better than the boys I guess, they all just pose like retards well into adulthood. I don't know about you, but general common sense indicates when you're about to have your picture taken, don't look like a fucking retard, and don't assist the prosecutor by providing evidence of your illegal activities. Thou shalt not hold a giant bag of weed, take hits from the bong, look like a retard, or t-bag an unconcious person while your bud whips out his iphone, and then post it all over facebook or whatever your tard network of choice is. Looking like a retard in the photo is not grounds for an insanity plea.

God help these kids. I finally understand that oddball kid in school who's parents never let them watch TV, and why our parents beat us. Fuck these noobs, I hope for a global ass whooping of every person born after 1985. Was 1984 the last normal generation? 1985 seems to be about the right year for many D-bags to have been born.

22 October 2009

Reminding you to wash your hands this flu season



My job, yeah, it's kind of like that. Bad enough it makes you feel sick working there, but you actually get sick working there because of the diseased pigs that don't wash their hands. I love when I see a guy take a crap, walk out without washing his hands, or even worse a quick rinse that adds insult to injury. Then you see the lousy fuck at the water cooler or coffee machine serving himself up a cup while rubbing that smudge on the water valve, wiping up that drip from the lip of the pot, fingering through the donuts to see what's good, well you get the idea.

Wash your hands, and call out the D-bags for what they are, dirty fucks. The world is a dirty place. Shout them out.

I prefer putting it in business terms for them:

"Hey you dirty fuck, the company spent money on soap so you wouldn't get the rest of us sick with your shit-hands and cause more employee downtime." (Even if a boss or HR cretin hears you, they can relate to that one.)

"We take enough shit around here, we don't need you adding to it. Wash your hands mother fucker." (Suitable for most circumstances. If afraid of a sexual harassment charge, substitute "asshole" for mother fucker. Asshole is unisex.

20 October 2009

Fuck me this is hard

Is it hard to find stuff to blog about? Not really, every day brings plenty with it. It is hard to sit down and recap the insanity without getting pissed, so some days, I pass. Other days I realize I have a life and until this blog goes mainstream and replaces my job, well, it's a part-time hobby I indulge in once in a while. God help the world if I could write this crap full-time. My lawyer would be working around the clock.

I imagine this will get easier over time.